When life begins and ends
One of the hardest things for me about being away from Boston are the big occasions, especially when life begins and ends. Since I've been in Omaha, I've had several friends loose parents, siblings and spouses and I have this overwhelming feeling that I belong at home at such a hard time. Maybe part of it has to do with me playing the role of "gatherer" so I tend to rally the troops and get everyone to the wake, visitation, service, gathering... whatever. Maybe part of it has to do with my upbringing in the funeral business. Maybe it's just that my friends and community are very important to me and to have a friend, you have to be a friend. When I'm not home, I'm not available to "be a friend" the way I'd like. A phone call is just not the same.
Today I found out that a friend's mother passed away and I feel just as I did several times over the past 2 1/2 years..... that I should be there. She's meeting with the Rabbi now and I recall a time 6 years ago when her daughter died, and I went with her to make the arrangements when it was just too painful. I guess life pulls you in different directions and you need to go with it, but I really miss being part of a community where I felt so connected, and where I built a life for the better part of 20 years.
One of the hardest things for me about being away from Boston are the big occasions, especially when life begins and ends. Since I've been in Omaha, I've had several friends loose parents, siblings and spouses and I have this overwhelming feeling that I belong at home at such a hard time. Maybe part of it has to do with me playing the role of "gatherer" so I tend to rally the troops and get everyone to the wake, visitation, service, gathering... whatever. Maybe part of it has to do with my upbringing in the funeral business. Maybe it's just that my friends and community are very important to me and to have a friend, you have to be a friend. When I'm not home, I'm not available to "be a friend" the way I'd like. A phone call is just not the same.
Today I found out that a friend's mother passed away and I feel just as I did several times over the past 2 1/2 years..... that I should be there. She's meeting with the Rabbi now and I recall a time 6 years ago when her daughter died, and I went with her to make the arrangements when it was just too painful. I guess life pulls you in different directions and you need to go with it, but I really miss being part of a community where I felt so connected, and where I built a life for the better part of 20 years.
posted by Betsy Paquelet Patrick at 6:09 AM
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