Back to Boston
I’ve been procrastinating writing about our return to Boston this summer. It’s now October, and we were home at the end of July to check the house and get it ready for the new tenants. In addition to missing home and the urban lifestyle desperately, I was curious how I would feel, actually living in my Boston house, designed for a modern 1870’s family after living in my Omaha house, designed for a millennium family.
My Omaha life isn’t so bad if you like this kind of thing. We live on a golf course and I play in two ladies leagues, so I’m on the course 2 or 3 times a week. The Club just built a brand new swimming pool complete with zero depth entry kid pool so Sophie and Maggie have lots of fun splashing around and I love sitting in my lounge chair. We even have a great babysitter who lives in the neighborhood, and goes to Sophie’s school and she takes care of the kids at the pool when I play golf sometimes. I guess it could be worse.
Of course the Omaha house is fine too… new in 2005, 3 car garage, mud room, laundry room, gas fireplace, great room, etc…. all the bells and whistles. My Boston house is 4 floors of vertical living, which can be tiresome.
I had really hoped that the summer in Omaha would be better for me. Maybe I would meet more people who would be out and about at the pool? Wrong….. The hard part about this seemingly idyllic life is that there are still no people around. I have one friend who lives here and is from Colorado and she comes to the pool frequently, but if her kids sleep late, or mine do, then there’s no one to hang out with. All totaled, I probably know 6 families with kids a similar age as mine, but they’re not out and about on any regular basis. In Boston I probably knew 50 families, so there were always kids to play with and moms to chat with. Everyone here just seems to stay home, alone. Yawn!
There’s a young man who works in the pro shop at the Club from Southie, and we have this running joke…. WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE? There are no people in Omaha!! When I first met him and we lamented the lack of Dunkin Donuts, he said something that resonated… “What’s the opposite of claustrophobic? That’s how I feel here.” I couldn’t agree more.
While I was back, I had dinner with probably 10 of my Mommy Friends. We walked to the North End, had dinner and walked home, and it was great just seeing everyone, and enjoying the pedestrian lifestyle. There’s no way that I could ever get 10 people to do anything here….. in order to get 10 to come, you need to invite 25 and I don’t think there are 25 people in Omaha!
And then there was the time when we were back when we needed to go to Home Depot, which required borrowing a car. When Neal and I walked out the door, he asked me from whom were we borrowing the car? I told him I didn’t know but we’d go knock on some doors and find one. We walked up the street to our neighbor Anne’s house and she said that of course we could borrow her car, but the keys were at another neighbor’s house, so ask him. We did, used the car, filled up the tank, brought it home and all was right with this neighborly world. You could never do such a thing in Omaha. I don’t think it’s possible to get to know any neighbors well enough! They are all holed up inside their houses never to see the light of day!
I have a friend in the neighborhood that was away for a few weeks, and her mother-in-law was down from Canada to look after her kid and she and I talked at length about how the people here never go outside. They never sit on their decks and eat; they never go to the parks, or the pool. They just stay home. She thought that maybe it’s the farming mentality… work, stay home. As an extravert, that makes me crazy!
The other thing that’s tough here is the money. Because there’s not much to do, you have to pay for all of your entertainment. We spend lots of money at the Club every month because there’s nothing to do but go swimming or play golf. In Boston we went to the city pool… not so glamorous, but it worked. And we would walk around town and you would inevitably find something like a Feast in the North End, or a foreign Navy Ship in the Harbor. Those were neat things to do, and they were free.
I am guessing that we would experience something similar in the suburbs of Boston but now I know for sure that it’s just not for me…. At least not now while my kids are this young. I can understand that some people do indeed enjoy this lifestyle, but I’m just not one of them.
So, the answer to my question….how would I feel living in my vertical, 4 story house with no garage, mud room, front load washer/dryer, or yard that my kids would never use anyway? I love it and I know now, more than ever that Boston is my home. If I can’t live there, then I need to live in an urban setting…. Not Newton, or Wellsley, or Westchester, or Winnketka, I need to be in Boston, or Manhattan, or Chicago. Readers, if you have a different perspective, please do not think that I am judging your preferences. This is mine, and what’s best for me.
I’ve been procrastinating writing about our return to Boston this summer. It’s now October, and we were home at the end of July to check the house and get it ready for the new tenants. In addition to missing home and the urban lifestyle desperately, I was curious how I would feel, actually living in my Boston house, designed for a modern 1870’s family after living in my Omaha house, designed for a millennium family.
My Omaha life isn’t so bad if you like this kind of thing. We live on a golf course and I play in two ladies leagues, so I’m on the course 2 or 3 times a week. The Club just built a brand new swimming pool complete with zero depth entry kid pool so Sophie and Maggie have lots of fun splashing around and I love sitting in my lounge chair. We even have a great babysitter who lives in the neighborhood, and goes to Sophie’s school and she takes care of the kids at the pool when I play golf sometimes. I guess it could be worse.
Of course the Omaha house is fine too… new in 2005, 3 car garage, mud room, laundry room, gas fireplace, great room, etc…. all the bells and whistles. My Boston house is 4 floors of vertical living, which can be tiresome.
I had really hoped that the summer in Omaha would be better for me. Maybe I would meet more people who would be out and about at the pool? Wrong….. The hard part about this seemingly idyllic life is that there are still no people around. I have one friend who lives here and is from Colorado and she comes to the pool frequently, but if her kids sleep late, or mine do, then there’s no one to hang out with. All totaled, I probably know 6 families with kids a similar age as mine, but they’re not out and about on any regular basis. In Boston I probably knew 50 families, so there were always kids to play with and moms to chat with. Everyone here just seems to stay home, alone. Yawn!
There’s a young man who works in the pro shop at the Club from Southie, and we have this running joke…. WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE? There are no people in Omaha!! When I first met him and we lamented the lack of Dunkin Donuts, he said something that resonated… “What’s the opposite of claustrophobic? That’s how I feel here.” I couldn’t agree more.
While I was back, I had dinner with probably 10 of my Mommy Friends. We walked to the North End, had dinner and walked home, and it was great just seeing everyone, and enjoying the pedestrian lifestyle. There’s no way that I could ever get 10 people to do anything here….. in order to get 10 to come, you need to invite 25 and I don’t think there are 25 people in Omaha!
And then there was the time when we were back when we needed to go to Home Depot, which required borrowing a car. When Neal and I walked out the door, he asked me from whom were we borrowing the car? I told him I didn’t know but we’d go knock on some doors and find one. We walked up the street to our neighbor Anne’s house and she said that of course we could borrow her car, but the keys were at another neighbor’s house, so ask him. We did, used the car, filled up the tank, brought it home and all was right with this neighborly world. You could never do such a thing in Omaha. I don’t think it’s possible to get to know any neighbors well enough! They are all holed up inside their houses never to see the light of day!
I have a friend in the neighborhood that was away for a few weeks, and her mother-in-law was down from Canada to look after her kid and she and I talked at length about how the people here never go outside. They never sit on their decks and eat; they never go to the parks, or the pool. They just stay home. She thought that maybe it’s the farming mentality… work, stay home. As an extravert, that makes me crazy!
The other thing that’s tough here is the money. Because there’s not much to do, you have to pay for all of your entertainment. We spend lots of money at the Club every month because there’s nothing to do but go swimming or play golf. In Boston we went to the city pool… not so glamorous, but it worked. And we would walk around town and you would inevitably find something like a Feast in the North End, or a foreign Navy Ship in the Harbor. Those were neat things to do, and they were free.
I am guessing that we would experience something similar in the suburbs of Boston but now I know for sure that it’s just not for me…. At least not now while my kids are this young. I can understand that some people do indeed enjoy this lifestyle, but I’m just not one of them.
So, the answer to my question….how would I feel living in my vertical, 4 story house with no garage, mud room, front load washer/dryer, or yard that my kids would never use anyway? I love it and I know now, more than ever that Boston is my home. If I can’t live there, then I need to live in an urban setting…. Not Newton, or Wellsley, or Westchester, or Winnketka, I need to be in Boston, or Manhattan, or Chicago. Readers, if you have a different perspective, please do not think that I am judging your preferences. This is mine, and what’s best for me.
posted by Betsy Paquelet Patrick at 10:40 AM
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