"Hey, there's Don.... let's go say Hi!".....



No, I don't know anyone named Don in Omaha, but a few nights ago Neal and I were sitting in a restaurant and again, I am feeling what's missing for me here. We were eating at a very cute cafe called La Bouvette in the Old Market in downtown Omaha. The Old Market is similar to Faneuil Hall, but smaller. To its defence, it is one of the few places in Omaha that I have found with charming character... very cool. But, I digress.....



While we were sitting at the table, there were a bunch of people hanging out at the bar together. Three came in, two more left, another woman came over to the bar with her date and introduced him to her "friends," etc... It was very reminiscent of my single life at the Warren Tavern in Charlestown. We had a large "group" and everyone gathered at the end of the day to have a relaxing drink, tell war stories, and decompress with friends. It was a warm night in November, so the windows and doors were open, and one guy at the bar saw someone walking down the street and said, "Hey, there's Don.... let's go say hi" and off he and another friend went to chase Don down the street to chat. Now that is a community and that's what I miss. Just running into people on the street, or at the grocery store or the dry cleaners.



While there's no way that I could, or would want to join a "bar community" at this point in my life with small children, seeing that social circle helps me understand why Omaha doesn't work for me, in this stage of life. Maybe if I had moved here as a single person, and could have experienced that bohemian artsy scene and then did the family-suburb thing, I would be happier and felt more connected to a broader community. Maybe if I moved here when my kids were older and in school all day, I could have had time to pursue my own interests, like golf, or consulting or a PhD. Maybe if I were born here, then I would hang out with my friends from kindergarten in my 5000 square foot home and watch football, because, as far as I can tell, it's easier to get an invitation a White House State Dinner than invited into that established world! in any case, I thing that after a year, I know that it's just not right for me.

Friends versus acquaintances


In my struggles with Omaha, people keep telling me about how I need to make friends. I laugh because people who know me here know that I have a bunch of really great women friends, and Neal and I have a bunch of great couple friends. We are very fortunate to spend time with these wonderful folks and I value every dinner, every birthday party and every golf game we have. The friends that I’ve made here will be lifelong friends and I can imagine calling them some day telling then that Sophie’s getting married, or Maggie’s going to have a baby….. exciting stuff, but please Lord, only let me have news like that to share after my girls each have a master’s degree and a good job!

What I am really missing are friendly acquaintances. In Boston I probably had 6 or 8 good mommy friends (that doesn’t include my wonderful pre-kid friends, who are like gold in my mind as well). These mommy friends were people I meet after Sophie came along and the women with whom the girls and I spent time every day. This community took care of Sophie when Maggie was born, and we all took care of the oldest kids when their second babies came; we brought meals, and support whenever it was needed. You know who you are, and I love you!

That leads me to my friendly acquaintances in Boston. These were women that I really liked, but just never got to know better because of timing, or schedules, or other aspects of life getting in the way. I know that if I had stayed in the city, and if they had, then I would have had the pleasure of getting to know these ladies better but for the three years I lived there, they were people I’d see in the grocery store or hang out with at the park. That’s what I am missing in Omaha…. Friendly acquaintances… nice people who are out and about with whom to chat and hang out while our kids play together. I was thinking that I would find those kinds of people living in an upscale country club neighborhood, but I sure have been wrong. Every time I meet someone new, I hear about how they work full time, or their kid is in all kinds of organized sports, or busy playing video games, or just likes to keep to themselves. No one goes outside and just plays, or walks, or hangs out. That just seems to be the Nebraska mentality… much more insular which creates a huge and stifling void for me!