Seek and ye shall find!


I was sitting here, contemplating how much I hate ambiguity, and how much our present living condition just doesn’t work for my family. We’re in an apartment that’s noisy (we’re in the cheep seats above the garage, so Maggie never gets a good nap with that door opening and closing), uncomfortable and an all around PITA (walking up and down the stairs with all of the cups, snacks, bags, groceries sleeping kids, and crap is killing me!). Although there’s a couple who’s interested in our house in Boston, they want to sell theirs first before they put an offer in on ours, which was leaving me in perpetual limbo. How long would I have to live in this dump before I could buy something in Omaha and attempt to make a life here? We can’t afford to buy something and still pay all the expenses on our place in Boston. So what’s a miserable urban mom stuck in suburbia to do?

Well, I took matters into my own hands. I e-mailed almost everyone I knew in Boston inquiring if they knew of any academic or healthcare people who would need temporary housing. My friend Amy referred me to a friend from MIT who referred me to www.sebbaticalhouses.com and literally, within 12 hours, I had two rentals that will carry us through the summer of 2008.

We’re certainly not making any money on this endeavor, but it allows us to rent something here, or buy something less expensive than what we were looking at originally. Most importantly, it keeps our family all together. Until now, it looked like the girls and I might have to leave Neal here and go back to Boston because we just couldn’t afford to pay expenses at two places. What’s more, after looking at housing here, I know that Boston is a much better investment that Omaha. We’ve looked at houses that are listed below what the current owners paid! My beloved real estate agent (whom I adore!) even says that with many properties, you’d need to do a new kitchen, and you’d get “some” of that money back! “SOME?” I come from the land of 1 ½ times, MINIMUM!

So now I am pleased. I get to keep the house I love in the city I’ve called home for 17 years. I always knew I loved Boston but I guess I didn’t realize how passionate I was until I left. But now I can come back! So, readers seek and ye shall find… if I hadn’t sent out that mass e-mail, I would have never made the connections and found my life saving tenants!

Things I like about Omaha

1. They sell liquor at the grocery store. I am now drinking more than I have since 1997 when I lived above the Warren Tavern.
2. They call it "pop." Keep in mind you New Englanders, "soda" is the adjective, and "pop" is the noun.
3. Sushi. Yes, you will find this quite surprising, but I think I've found the best sushi restaurant ever (better than even Ginza!). The pieces are at least twice the size of any other piece of sushi I've ever seen, including Monster Sushi in New York City.
4. The people. Most of them are very nice, except they don't get out and do anything. They just sit at home having a playdate with one other family, but most times they usually cancle. Bore me!
5. The zoo. The zoo here is really great. We go like twice a week. Can you tell how bored I am!
6. Sugar free Chai - there's a coffee shop here where I can get sugar free chai... only 45 calories! Now you know I am REALLY bored.
7. babysitters - as I understand, you pay then $2.00 an hour per kid! That's much better than the $10-$12 I was paying in Boston. Now if there was only something I wanted to go out and do.......
8. Drive through Starbucks. 'nuf said.
9. Car washes. They are everywhere and cost like $4.00. In Boston they were around $8.00 and hence, I always had a dirty car... back when I had a car.
10. Parking. Everywhere you go here, there's ample parking, unlike Boston. But then again, I rarely drove in Boston so it didn't matter.

So everyone, I am trying. I'm really trying but it's hard. Our housing situation is terrible, and it's a big challenge to even get out of the house. Will I ever be able to make it here????? Stay tuned....

Something good about Omaha

This past weekend, we went to see Blue Man Group at the Quest Center in Omaha. Neal's company has a suite (they call them suites here, but in other venues, they are known as logues, boxes, etc). It was great because not only were the tickets free, but we got free parking in the garage, we walked in and went to the suite complete with snacks and beer and wine... all free. I tend to get antsy at shows like that, so I love sitting in boxes/logues/suites so I can get up and move around.

I could get used to this!

Taxbraska - You have to pay WHAT in property tax?

Well, we've been in Omaha for 4 weeks in horrific temporary housing. We are on the second floor, so to do anything, I have to pack up a bag complete with milk, extra milk, more milk for someone else, water, snacks, and all my stuff, grab Maggie, and hope Sophie follows me down the stairs so the car. This existence is making me crazy, so I am looking for houses.... Perhaps all my Omaha misery is because of my living situation?

This weekend we went out with our wonderful real estate agent Charlie to look at property. I found some things I liked, but the property tax here is literally $14,000! I am horrified! I thought I was moving from Taxachusetts, but maybe we are moving to"Taxbraska". There's a ton on the market, but everything that's nice is in that $14K tax bracket, or needs a new kitchen, new tile, new carpet, new bathrooms, new walls, new floorplan, new garage, new yard, new everything! While I don't mind a little work, I want to get out of here, and find some normalcy... not more chaos!

Back when Neal's company was wooing us, they talked about how great it would be coming from Boston to Omaha and what a wonderful house we could buy with all the money we'd make/save from moving to "America" with a lower cost of living. I thought it was BS at the time and now I know it's BS. We pay $6K a year on our house in Boston, in a cool city with free trash pick-up, snow plowing, etc. Here you pay extra for those things, AND you pay more than double the tax, which is sunk money. At least you get some of your interest back.

So, people from Taxbraska, I'd suggest moving to Boston. I would be happy to sell you a 4 bedroom house with a great layout in a cool neighborhood and your monthly payment would probably be less than it is here. And you'd live amoung cool people near the water with professional sports teams, great restaurants, and mountains nearby. You could get to Europe on direct flights, and Broadway shows would come to your local theater before going to New York. It's the next best thing to heaven!

Greetings from the Western Front! Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A New Yorker friend of mine sent this article about Omaha vs. New York. It's on the money... almost...
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/29/opinion/29dooling.html?ex=1162789200&en=faedc653114c6ae2&ei=5070&emc=eta1

This past weekend we went to Minneapolis to see Sam & Jeff, Geli, Benjamin, . It was a 6 1/2 hour drive from Omaha through Iowa (yawn!) and we wanted to be with Geli for her birthday (read between the lines.... I am miserable and I wanted to see Sam because I knew she'd have a better attitude than me!). Sophie decided she wanted a "bag potty" like David's and it was a good thing we did as Sophie used it three times before we even got to Des Moines, the half way point. Picture us, in the big bad Volvo, pulling off the highway onto a dirt road, setting up the potty, and Sophie doing her thing in the mist of the corn. Check out our web site for pictures in the next few days.

Anyway, we arrived Friday night, went to the hotel, slept, and then went to Sam's on Saturday morning. The kids played, and I relished in some normalcy... seeing a friend's new home with the same old furniture and toys that had been in Charlestown. We walked into the little town center with the kids dressed up in costumes, and they trick-or-treated at the coffee shops and boutiques. People in Minneapolis had Mountain Buggy Strollers, Muslim women wore scarves, and I heard some different languages that I hadn't heard since I left Boston. I felt more comfortable than I have in the 4 weeks since I left Mecca, eh, I mean Boston. And if Sam can assimilate, I can too... right? Ummmmm..........

After we said our goodbyes on Sunday (and hard to beleive, I left Sam without sobbing my eyes out!), we drove back through Iowa and stopped in Madison County to see the famed "Bridges". It was very cool and the girls had a good time running back and forth. I must say, surprisingly, Iowa is very beautiful in it's natural landscape with its rolling hills, fields, and farm houses.

As we were crossing over the border to Nebraska it dawned on me why I am having such a hard time here.....

- Omaha has no charm whatsoever and no interesting landscape either. There are only chain stores and strip malls, Applebee's and Pier One. Save the miscellaneous corn field, the terrain consists of "subdivisions" with identical houses. Can you envision me yawning?
- Omaha has museums and a great zoo, but to me, 3/4 of the experience is getting there. In Omaha, the kids just ride in the car, and don't experience the world like they did in Boston, riding the T, taking the boat, or just walking through town.
- Omaha has very nice people, but they are all white, middle class, and English speaking. I really valued the diversity that we saw every day in Boston. My kids need to know that everyone in the world is not like them, but everyone is entitled to respect and a friendly "good morning".
- Omaha has lots of grass, but the houses are all on tiny lots and you feel like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, trapped! So, where's the value?
- Omaha has lots of families, but no one shows up at the park to play. They all have play dates in the house. You schedule a playdate with one other child, and then half the time someone has to cancel (kids get sick, late naps, no naps, etc). What's more, because the kids have never played in groups, they don't share or take turns. Even the most possessive kid in Charlestown would be horrified with the lack of manners and the sense of entitlement that I've seen here.
- Omaha has one block of cute shopping downtown far from any residential area. That's is. See my point?
- The taxes in Omaha are at least twice what we paid in Boston. The theory is that the schools are good, so you use them. But, there are some highly taxed neighborhoods where you wouldn't want to send your kids to public school. I don't get it, but I do know that lots of people were using the public schools in Charlestown, and were very pleased.

So, despite the crime, the parking, and the crazy city politics, Boston is still my spiritual home, and think that Charlestown is a really wonderful place to have a family. My kids flourished there, and were becoming worldly little people. Maybe I will be better off once we sell our house, and buy something here (if we go down that route) but at this point, I'm not seeing the value.

So, that's the news from here. I miss you all, and my life in Boston. I sadly recall the wonderful picture I'll keep in my mind forever of sailing with friends to Provincetown, and that view when you can look west and just see Boston, and look east and see P-town. THAT was living!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Friday, October 13, 2006

We have arrived in Omaha, and we're beginning to get settled.... sort of. Here's a re-cap... the good, the bad and the ugly:


The trip
The Good
We flew on Northwest via Detroit and had memberships to the airport club. This came in very handy with two kids and our 4 hour delay! Neal and I needed the free beer and wine!

The Bad
Each kid had a massive mother-of-all temper tantrum on one of the legs of the trip. Sophie refused to sit in her seat as the plane was landing in Detroit, and Maggie screamed the whole way from Detroit to Omaha.

The Ugly
The amount that we pay each year for those stupid cards to get into the airport club.... but now we know it's worth it!

Our arrival
The Good
No blood was shed... only a lot of tears.

The Bad
Out of the 6 checked bags, the airline only lost one.... mine.

The Ugly
That bag was delivered to our apartment at 4:25 am. We were FURIOUS! Why couldn't they wait until morning?!?!?!?!?!

Our apartment
The Good
It's a 3-bedroom on one floor. The family across the hall from us (from California) is complaining that it's soooo small, but after 4 floors, we're loving this!

The Bad
It's on the second story, so I have to lug the kids and the gear up and down the stairs.

The Ugly
There's a code to unlock the door, and it never works. So, envision me, standing there holding Maggie, and Sophie being a PITA, along with the diaper bag, groceries, and miscellaneous Starbucks paraphernalia trying to open this GD DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sophie's school
The Good
It's amazing! she started Monday, the day after we arrived. I'm so pleased with it, and I think I like it even more than Boston Children's if that's possible!

The Bad
The other moms haven't been very welcoming. How come no one's asking me out for coffee???? Maybe because I am driving a cool Swedish station wagon and they are driving big gas guzzling American SUV's!

The Ugly
It's about a half hour from our apartment so it's a PITA to get her there and I just realized that although her name tag clearly spells "Sophie", they have been calling her Sophia. After my conversation today with the teacher, this better not happen again.

Driving the car
The Good
I have new Volvo Cross Country Wagon, mortuary black of course, and it's great! and I filled up the tank for $2.06 the other day. Yippee!!

The Bad
I am doing so much driving that I am filling up the car every other day, and as a city slicker who didn't even own a car, this is a MAMMOTH culture shock.

The Ugly
Maggie hates being in the car and screams whenever I strap her in. Sophie seems to yell, as soon we get out of the driveway, "I WANT MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as if she is in the desert dying to thirst!

Food
The Good
Steak.

The Bad
Fish.

The Ugly
Every single chain restaurant you can imagine at every single corner!

Adjusting to Omaha
The Good
I have joined a mother's group and went to a Mom's Night Out. Everyone was very nice and welcoming, and they seemed to be willing to overlook the giant chip on my shoulder.

The Bad
It's a massive culture shock. I miss my house, and my friends, and my community, and most of all, living in a city that I truly love full of all of it's richness, culture and diversity. I will be back as a Bostonian some day, and I truly hope it's before I retire!

The Ugly
Sophie is having massive, perpetual temper tantrums. She's only said that she wants to go home maybe once, but I know this is hard on her. After her first day of school, I asked her if she played with any new friends, and she said, "they aren't my friends". That brings tears to my eyes even now. And Maggie isn't sleeping well, and even though she has her own sheets, and bedding.... it's still not the same. We had a wonderful life in Charlestown, and we miss it every day.

So, that's it... the good, the bad, and the ugly. I hope that the next time I send out an update, it's full of mostly just good!

Moving To America, Part II, sent Monday, September 25, 2006

In case you're wondering how we're faring with the whole move-to-Omaha thing, here's the update....

Neal's last day at Chadwicks was last Friday. Of course I had to buy a bunch of new clothes while I still had the discount so I will be the best dressed mom in Omaha (yea, right! Like anyone cares!). We then had/have 2 weeks with daddy here in Boston before he leaves for Omaha on October 1, along with Zachary Binx, our cat. Neal comes back to Boston on October 6th and then Sophie, Maggie and I go back with Neal on October 8 to start our new life. Boo hoo!
We bought a new car for our new life... a Volvo Cross Country. How appropriate since we're moving "cross country". We ended up buying it in Boston since there are like 30 Volvo dealers in our area and ONE (yes, that's right, only ONE) in Nebraska. So, we got a good deal relatively speaking. They took it away today to be shipped on the Oregon Trail (for those of you who remember that history lesson) and I'll see it again once we get to our new city. Of course, it is mortuary black!
We are enjoying New England - for the past week we were making a point of enjoying New England. We went to Rockport to get a good look at the ocean since we likely won't see it for a long time. For two Midwesterners by birth, Neal and I are sure sad to not see it every day the way we do now. We also went to New Hampshire to the White Mountains. They don't have mountains in Nebraska either. And of course no New England fall is complete without apple picking. I wonder if they have apple trees in Omaha? Finally, we treated ourselves to new Barbour coats at the outlet in New Hampshire. We got coats when we were in England once and visited the outlet, so, as a justification since we won't be back this way, we decided that we each needed a signature wax coat and I love it! I'm glad I love something these days!
Our house - it's on the market here in Boston. We've had some showings, but so far no takers. It's a 4 bedroom house with parking, so it's a rarity, but for the right family, it will be a valued find. We just need to find that family! Hey, wait a minute.... aren't the Patricks the right family for that house???
The move - the movers came today to pick up some initial boxes. What was supposed to be 10 boxes of our necessities turned into 20 boxes and included the baby gates, play yard, and a bunch of stuffed animals. Our things in storage (like our stock pots, and humidifiers and table clothes) will come once we find a permanent place to live, and the furniture will come after we sell the house in Boston.
The plan - we'd like to sell our house here before we buy something there. There's no telling how long that could take, and with my luck, I'd be paying 2 mortgages indefinitely, and then we'd end up leaving Omaha and I'd be really stuck.
Plans to come back to Boston? We booked round trip tickets to Omaha from Boston, and we are planning to come back on December 23 if we haven't sold the house. Then we'll have the Pork and Sauerkraut party for New Years and hope to see you all!
So, life is stressful, and sad, but I'm trying to be optimistic that I'll see the benefits of the suburban lifestyle like all those other people who leave the city. Wish me luck!

-Betz

This was my first e-mail about "Moving to America" sent Monday, August 28, 2006. This begins my chronicle.

Hello!

It's with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that Neal, Sophie, Maggie and I will be leaving my beloved Boston for..... get this.... you're never going to believe it.... I'm still not sure I believe it... Omaha, Nebraska. Neal has accepted a job with Oriental Trading Company as Director of Marketing so we will all be relocating at the beginning of October.

Why? you ask.... well, Neal's company is owned by a French conglomerate. His boss is French, his boss's boss is French, and on up the ladder. Neal is from Wisconsin and the only thing that's French about him is his wife's great, great grandfather, and hence his prospects there are very limited. I tried to get Neal to change his last name to Paquelet, but he thought he'd rather move to Omaha. So, here we go.... moving from the bastion of high priced housing, traffic problems, perpetual construction, and my spiritual home since I first visited Red Sox Nation at the ripe old age of 14 for the exact center of the country.... or, as my Zimmerman cousins say, I'm "moving to America". Wish me luck!